Monday, November 3, 2008

Now Hiring

As I have just recently passed the 6 month milestone of singleness, I have put quite a bit of thought into what I want out of life, myself, my future, love, shoes, etc. You know, the important stuff. Granted, my life is pretty damn good right now but there are a few things that are not as I would like them. Specifically, I really don't feel like I have enough time. As of late, I have greatly slacked off in my domestic and everyday responsibilities (not that I've ever been that great at them).

For example, whilst I continue to wash the laundry, I do not fold it or hang it up. It spent literally a week on my floor, clean and wrinkled. I did spend a great amount of time on Saturday getting all my clothes hung, but the boys clothes are still on the floor. Also, I cannot tell you the last time I mopped. This is terrible, I know. I need to go through the boys room, again, and throw out or donate the excess toys. My carpet needs a deep cleaning AGAIN (this was done the week before Ike but is in desperate need). Don't get me started on dusting. My garage needs organized. I have plants in pots that needed planted into the ground. I need to finish the touch up painting in my living room.

The list goes on. And on.

It's not that I can't find the time to get all this done. I am home almost every night. The thing is, I'd rather do other things with my time. Anything, really. Play with the kids, read, drink, read, homework with Aidan, hang with friends, sleep, etc.

So here is the conclusion I have come to. I need a housewife. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this. I've got it all worked out. First, she will be home all day so there will be no need for the kids to go to daycare. Right there that saves me almost $800 a month to help offset the cost of an extra person in the family. She (I use she but I'm not opposed to a manwife - they just must fulfill the job as requested - i am an equal opportunity employer) would need to keep the house clean, all laundry clean, hung, folded, etc. and have my meals prepared each evening. I would also expect her to handle the paying of the bills because I am truly unorganized in that matter (I keep a little book at my desk that I write it all down in but it really is not a good system). And definitely handle all the grocery shopping. I'm so over that.

But what are the benefits for the position, you ask? Well, a monthly allowance, the honor of hanging out with me, your own vehicle (if you already have one, we can adjust your monthly allowance accordingly), and an occasional night off to hang out with your friends. Actually, most nights could be taken off. When I'm home, this person is not really needed (as long as their chores are done). I'm not looking for a companion or a spouse, just someone to fulfill the role as best as it suits me. I don't want someone prying into my life or harassing me about where I've been or whom I slept with last night. Ugh, that's so annoying.

Now I know what you are thinking. Why don't you get a nanny? Simple, I think it would cost more. AND, I want someone on call 24 - 7, like a wife. They can have their own room as the boys don't really use theirs as they sleep with me every night. They'd of course have to keep all the toys in there. I only have a two bedroom house, you know.

So ya, if you're interested, let me know.

Sewing a plus. I need some curtains!


cece said...

This is a good one and now I am convinced that I need a wife too. Lucky for me, we are getting a housekeeper soon. I may not have kids that make messes, I do however have a giant dog.

Good luck with your wife hunt!

Erin said...

I will be submitting my resume with the quickness~