Thursday, October 30, 2008

Grocery Shopping

I went to the grocery store last night. With the kids. I am positive that one day, soon, I will forever be banned from Kroger. It is impossible to shop properly when they are with me. Aside from the grocery store, I do not take my kids out in public. The only reason I even take them to the grocery store is because we have to eat and we just can't have Hot Donalds (as they call it) every day. Mainly, I can't afford it. Plus, I overheard this group of gangsta thugs at the mall discussing the hormone levels in the beef at McDonalds (I'm completely serious here) so I feel I should try to give them healthier foods on occasion. Just in case the thugs are right.

I would prefer to shop from a list. It's more organized and you spend less money. I would also like to use the coupons I cut out. I can do neither of these things. Why? Because it adds time to my shopping adventure. Regardless of how much I have to buy, I have no more than 20 minutes to get from my car, find groceries, pay for groceries, and get back to my car before all hell breaks loose. And that is on a good day.

This does not mean that those 20 minutes go by smoothly. No. There is fighting, screaming, pushing, and crying, and that's just me. You should see the kids. Aidan's favorite thing to do is run across the floor and then slide on his knees into people and displays. He tells me it's "tight". Jacob spends his time either trying to climb out of the cart, demanding everything sugary he sees, or growling and/or shooting other shoppers.

How do I handle this? I run. It's like an episode of Supermarket Sweep. I don't even put my fruits and veggies into the plastic bags. I just throw them in the cart. There is no time to spare. Most times, I don't even know what I bought until I get home and unload. And EVERYTIME, I forget something important and end up with three items the kids threw in the cart when I wasn't watching.

I love my kids but the truth is, they just aren't fit for society. A zoo maybe. Public places, no.


ssaholly said...

Hot Donalds....hilarious

Erin said...

Oh how I love your shopping adventures.

cece said...

Supermarket Sweep! Hilarious!